Category: Abide – Spiritual Journey – John 15

By the winter of 2012, my life was a complete mess. I’d been raped, lost my friends, and was trying to get out of another abusive relationship. My business was on the rocks and I was drinking too much. Everything I thought I could keep together wasn’t working. It had always worked before, but this time, nothing I seemed to do pulled this vast mess into shape.

I had nowhere else to go so I went to church. After all, don’t we usually turn to God when the chips are down? I felt like a hypocrite though—an interloper. I’d told God years earlier, about 2005, that I didn’t need Him. In fact, on one drunken night, sitting in my dining room, I’d called Him out. Yes, I challenged God, “If you are there…if you really can help me, then talk to me. Just say or do something.”

Nothing, of course. Thinking back now, I imagine God in heaven, looking down at angry little me and thinking, “Dear one, this will not end well, but I love you enough to let you go.”

When I consider my ultimatum, I know I turned from God because I wanted to do it my way. I’ve always felt a strong Spiritual connection and I’d always felt guilt when doing the “wrong” thing. I simply could not stay committed to God or even really acknowledge Him in my life and then do the things I knew He would not want me to do so I left Him that day in my dining room.

Coming back in 2012 was a big deal. No matter the stage in my life, I always held integrity and I am not a half-measure person. I was either in or out. That February day, I picked in and my life has been a whirlwind ever since. There’s so much change, so much adventure, so many blessings—new rewards and perspective. It’s simply been amazing. It’s been a beautiful little miracle. I’ve created this blog to share some of it with you and to maybe make your journey a little brighter.

I now believe, without any doubt or reservation, that God brought me through all that craziness to bless me with greater compassion and understanding. I see now that He plucked me out of that mess I’d created so I could walk with Him in the utmost confidence that this is where I belong, and if you are reading this, at this exact moment, then this is where you belong too.  Come rest with us…


A Heart on Fire Luke 24:32

Praying over the City at Roots Roasting. January 14, 2019 · Saint Paul After waking at 5:30 a.m. to hit the gym, it’s now 7:30 a.m. and the sun still hasn’t arrived. This picture was taken last week when I’d gotten a later start. I realize there is nothing particularly stunning about thisRead More


Who is God? Luke 22:31-32

Praying over the City in Saint Paul, Minnesota. January 8, 2019 This, by far, was my favorite Christmas card. I received others I truly loved with wonderful updates, but this became my favorite because of the vast representations of our Creator. The global love. The unity of praise. People all overRead More


His Purpose Prevails – Proverbs 19:21

Praying Over the City at Caribou Coffee (757 Grand Avenue, St. Paul, MN). December 31, 2018 I woke early to get to the gym to find all the lights off. I understand it’s New Year’s Eve, but it’s not yet the holiday, right? A closure on the first of the yearRead More


Who is the Greatest? Luke 22:7-30

Praying over the City in Saint Paul, Minnesota. December 23, 2018 Today I’m writing from my home office neatly tucked into the sunroom. There’s a lot going on and crammed in this small space. In fact, that daybed was where I slept last night. When the kids are home, IRead More


Jesus Wept – John 11:35

Praying Over the City in Saint Paul, MN December 12, 2018 I did it. I got to the gym earlier today. Not at the time I would have liked, but about 40 minutes earlier than yesterday and with NO groaning. I wanted to get there and start my workout. TheRead More


The War in My Mind – Romans 7:21-23

Praying Over the City, Saint Paul, MN December 11, 2018 This morning I got up and went to the gym. Not on time by any means. I dilly-dallied around the house, leaving after 7 a.m. when I’d have preferred 6:30 a.m. or so. Although I workout, or at least moveRead More


Let’s Just Listen – Song of Solomon

Praying Over The City in Saint Paul, MN A bunch of people right now are up in arms because radio stations decided to ban the song, “BABY IT’S COLD OUTSIDE” because of it’s suggestive and triggering lyrics to the #metoo movement. I’ll admit, even though I am a three-time sexualRead More


The Hidden Meaning Luke 18:34

Praying over the City at Bruegger’s Bagels (800 Grand Ave, Saint Paul, MN). December 5, 2018 Lately, I’ve been pondering an interesting Biblical concept that came to a major convergence yesterday. What is “truth”? In Luke 18:31-33, Jesus pulls the core Twelve aside and tells them about the events that areRead More


How Hard It Is Luke 18:21-29

Praying over the city at Bruegger’s Bagels (800 Grand Ave, Saint Paul, MN). December 4, 2018 I saw this meme on a friend’s Facebook page yesterday and immediately I was taken aback. My thought, “All that waste.” Not of water or even money, which, honestly, is also a “thing”, but thoseRead More


The Righteous Life James 1:19-20

Praying over the City at Bruegger’s Bagels (800 Grand Ave, Saint Paul, MN). December 1, 2018 Yesterday I posted a blog, HOW BIG IS YOUR GOD, about a friend’s concern about ill-effects stemming from my practice of yoga. That it could have negative spiritual repercussions. In it I referenced how angryRead More