Category: Abide – Spiritual Journey – John 15

By the winter of 2012, my life was a complete mess. I’d been raped, lost my friends, and was trying to get out of another abusive relationship. My business was on the rocks and I was drinking too much. Everything I thought I could keep together wasn’t working. It had always worked before, but this time, nothing I seemed to do pulled this vast mess into shape.

I had nowhere else to go so I went to church. After all, don’t we usually turn to God when the chips are down? I felt like a hypocrite though—an interloper. I’d told God years earlier, about 2005, that I didn’t need Him. In fact, on one drunken night, sitting in my dining room, I’d called Him out. Yes, I challenged God, “If you are there…if you really can help me, then talk to me. Just say or do something.”

Nothing, of course. Thinking back now, I imagine God in heaven, looking down at angry little me and thinking, “Dear one, this will not end well, but I love you enough to let you go.”

When I consider my ultimatum, I know I turned from God because I wanted to do it my way. I’ve always felt a strong Spiritual connection and I’d always felt guilt when doing the “wrong” thing. I simply could not stay committed to God or even really acknowledge Him in my life and then do the things I knew He would not want me to do so I left Him that day in my dining room.

Coming back in 2012 was a big deal. No matter the stage in my life, I always held integrity and I am not a half-measure person. I was either in or out. That February day, I picked in and my life has been a whirlwind ever since. There’s so much change, so much adventure, so many blessings—new rewards and perspective. It’s simply been amazing. It’s been a beautiful little miracle. I’ve created this blog to share some of it with you and to maybe make your journey a little brighter.

I now believe, without any doubt or reservation, that God brought me through all that craziness to bless me with greater compassion and understanding. I see now that He plucked me out of that mess I’d created so I could walk with Him in the utmost confidence that this is where I belong, and if you are reading this, at this exact moment, then this is where you belong too.  Come rest with us…


Memories Revelation 1:8

I am out for my ride today, but I did not bike this far today. From where I sit, the Cathedral is still a 30-minute ride from me, if I could bike as fast as Maps thinks I should. The fact that I am so far from a spot IRead More


The Full Extent of His Love John 13:1b

I am finally out for my morning rides. Geez, it is already past mid-July, and I’ve only taken Black Beauty out for a spin one other time this summer. With COVID-19, I got used to being home and sleeping late. Then with my mother dying, I’ve been focused on otherRead More


I’ll Be Seeing You**

Interesting mom story…Yesterday I was thinking about my mom and wrote a post, in which, I asked her to reach out to me. If you missed it, it’s here: These were the words of my request, “It’s been more than a week now, mom, and I do miss you.Read More


Looks Like You, Mom

My sister found this in my mom’s things. I am to the left, my sister to the right. Please note what is written in the corner, “Looks like you, mom.” My mother must have sent this to my grandmother (Nanny), and when my grandma died, it was returned to myRead More


Jesus’ Calling Matthew 22:37-40

I finished my study of the gospels. It was a two-year adventure. Granted, I could have completed it faster, but it wasn’t a race. I’d read a few pages, and something would be revealed to me that I would write about and post at In 2018 and early 2019,Read More


Making the Tough Choices – John 19:12

After a long rest, I logged into my gospel notes to find I hadn’t been here since December 31st. Just about three full months since I’d dug into the Word to let it speak to me. That’s horrible. It’s mortifying. To not participate in something that has brought me soRead More


Lent Fasting — Week Two

Here’s today’s smoothie. Same ingredients as last week–PB powder, banana, almond milk, chia and flax seeds. I only had one last Wednesday. Maybe I’ll do the same today.There are a few things I’ve noticed. One, I have a hard time concentrating during the day. It’s much easier without food atRead More


Lent Fasting – Week One

I decided to fast every Wednesday through Lent, maybe longer. I did this two years ago and I really loved it. I didn’t LOVE going without food. That part was hard, but I did love how in tune I became to my own physical limitations, the blessings I have, andRead More


A Prayer for Unity – John 17:20-26

The picture to the left is of two adorable people that I love—Paul & Tife. This little family is one of the blessings God has brought to my path. I went to visit them this past Saturday, and on my journey home, I thought about how grateful I am toRead More


Open My Mind – Luke 24:45

I am sitting here, trying to read and understand the Scriptures, and today it is just not breaking through. I’m at John 17 as Jesus continues to talk to the disciples about events that are to come to pass, and I feel a bit like the words tell me thoseRead More