Category: Abide – Spiritual Journey – John 15
By the winter of 2012, my life was a complete mess. I’d been raped, lost my friends, and was trying to get out of another abusive relationship. My business was on the rocks and I was drinking too much. Everything I thought I could keep together wasn’t working. It had always worked before, but this time, nothing I seemed to do pulled this vast mess into shape.
I had nowhere else to go so I went to church. After all, don’t we usually turn to God when the chips are down? I felt like a hypocrite though—an interloper. I’d told God years earlier, about 2005, that I didn’t need Him. In fact, on one drunken night, sitting in my dining room, I’d called Him out. Yes, I challenged God, “If you are there…if you really can help me, then talk to me. Just say or do something.”
Nothing, of course. Thinking back now, I imagine God in heaven, looking down at angry little me and thinking, “Dear one, this will not end well, but I love you enough to let you go.”
When I consider my ultimatum, I know I turned from God because I wanted to do it my way. I’ve always felt a strong Spiritual connection and I’d always felt guilt when doing the “wrong” thing. I simply could not stay committed to God or even really acknowledge Him in my life and then do the things I knew He would not want me to do so I left Him that day in my dining room.
Coming back in 2012 was a big deal. No matter the stage in my life, I always held integrity and I am not a half-measure person. I was either in or out. That February day, I picked in and my life has been a whirlwind ever since. There’s so much change, so much adventure, so many blessings—new rewards and perspective. It’s simply been amazing. It’s been a beautiful little miracle. I’ve created this blog to share some of it with you and to maybe make your journey a little brighter.
I now believe, without any doubt or reservation, that God brought me through all that craziness to bless me with greater compassion and understanding. I see now that He plucked me out of that mess I’d created so I could walk with Him in the utmost confidence that this is where I belong, and if you are reading this, at this exact moment, then this is where you belong too. Come rest with us…
Step 12: We Harvest What We Plant: Galatians 6
STEP 12. Having had a spiritual experience as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore them gently. But watch yourself, orRead More
Jonah is Powerless — Step 1
STEP 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors, that our lives had become unmanageable. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. RomansRead More
Saul Comes to Believe — Step 2
STEP 2: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:13 There are important moments in life that can change our destiny. These areRead More
Three Boys Turn Their Lives to God — Step 3
STEP 3: We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God -this is your spiritual act of worship. Romans 12:1Read More
Ester’s Fearless Inventory — Step 4
STEP 4: We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. Lamentations 3:40 Most of us hesitate at the idea of making a searching and fearless moral inventory. Rationalizations and excuses for avoiding thisRead More
David Admits His Wrongs — Step 5
STEP 5: We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16 When we find David in 2 Samuel chapter 11, he isRead More
Samson’s Character Defect Makes Him Weak — Step 6
STEP 6: We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:10 We find Samson in the book of Judges—a period of time in the Bible where God would send a leader (or judge)Read More
King Nebuchadnezzar is Humbled — Step 7
STEP 7: We humbly asked Him to remove all our shortcomings. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9 God did a tremendous work in King Nebuchadnezzar in chapter 4 of the book of Daniel.Read More
Jacob Makes a List — Step 8
STEP 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:31 Jacob always wanted to be first and he made a long list of persons he hadRead More
Peter Makes Amends — Step 9
STEP 9: We made direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you; leave your gift there in front of the altar.Read More