Into Hiding 1 Samuel 22

Praying over the city at Bread & Chocolate.

September 22, 2018 · Saint Paul

Sorry I haven’t been writing. In fact, with all this turmoil and additional consciousness stirring in the #metoo movement brought on by Dr. Ford’s brave stance, I’ve been hiding. A friend asked me for prayers of healing. I’ve been praying friends, but I’ve been sitting back, reflecting, healing, and asking God what He should have me do and/or say about this very important issue.

Everyone weighing on Dr. Ford’s allegation reminded me so very much of my own rape. Granted, there are some differences, but the similarities have retraumatized me a bit and I needed to “hide” to heal. Like Dr. Ford, I did not report my assault and in fact, based on the very bad advice of a friend, told only her what happened to me. He was a friend in our group, and this woman on whom I relied at a time while I couldn’t think for myself, thought it best I say nothing.

Then a friend started dating my rapist. To protect her, I felt compelled to say something. She should know what this man was like—she should be informed so she can decide, with all information, what she would like to do. Friends told me not to do it, but I had to. It was the right thing to do. I still believe it to be the right thing to do even though those same friends turned on me.

He lied, of course. Saying yes, he’d had sex with me, but I wanted it. In fact, I’d come after him. He had no other choice to concede. He further told her that I only said these things because I was jealous. Logic flew out the window. Anyone sane would think, “In the face of all the backlash I faced, why would she come forward unless it was true?” Rape culture isn’t sane. Instead of inviting me into the conversation, they decided for me that I should wear a red letter.

You can probably now see the similarities to my story and Dr. Ford. It is my opinion, because I lived something similar, she came forward for the same reasons I did, so that we as American’s could decide, based on all the information, if Kavanaugh is the person we want in this important role. It’s okay once we know to say, “That was a long time ago. We believe he’s changed…” Or “We don’t believe you.” Or whatever we decide, but to vilify her without even hearing her story, well, that’s NOT sane.

David, who was God’s chosen, went into hiding too. Read 1 Samuel 22. David had done NOTHING wrong, but Saul, who was threatened by David, went after him. This really is no different than what the survivors today face, and just like David who later took over as King in Israel and lead a great nation, God will put us survivors in our proper place, upholding us, and making things right. We are a movement. We are strong. Because of you, the 30% of men who have assaulted women, we are large in numbers. We will win this righteous battle. #TogetherWeRise

Dearest Heavenly Father, only you know the pain, the true pain of someone who has been sexually abused. We don’t want to see evil and as a result, we defend things that we should not. Lord, please make us strong. Please make us brave. Please help us see Your truth, and Father, for the men who have selfishly put their power and their desires above women and have committed this wrong, we ask that you soften their hearts to try to right the wrong they have committed. In Your Holy Name…

I think I’ll be publishing a letter to Dr. Ford. She can use our support. May ya’all have a blessed day AND if you have any prayer requests for me, bring’em. I need to get out of my head and out of hiding.

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