Memories Revelation 1:8

I am out for my ride today, but I did not bike this far today. From where I sit, the Cathedral is still a 30-minute ride from me, if I could bike as fast as Maps thinks I should. The fact that I am so far from a spot I found so much Energy saddens me. I am trying to find that Energy in new sources. Today I am in a cute little park, too close to the noisy highway, with a dude mowing nearby. Ahhhhhh, the suburbs. Not quite the same as praying over the city from those monumental steps.

I took this picture two days ago when I woke to ride and found that it was raining. I hopped in the car instead, grabbed a coffee, and found it all did little to stir my creative juices. I’m glad I have this picture, though, and the memories of this remarkable view.

Today it is a month since my mother died. As a prepped to leave early this morning, A rush of memories of that morning hit me. I was up before dawn, rushing to the hospital to be at her bedside as she struggled for breath.

Memories are a funny thing. In a moment, we can be thrust back to a different time based on a thought, a smell, a sight; and there it is—we are in another moment. But those memories fade. So much from my childhood used to be so vivid. Now, many I can’t recall.

The one thing I miss so much and wish I’d kept one copy of, is my mother in my voice mail saying, “Hello Renee, it’s your mom.” I can hear it in my memory, but I am afraid it will fade. A friend tells me she can still recall her grandmother’s voice, but as I type those words, I realize I cannot fully remember either of my grandmother’s voice—a little, but they are not clear.

And so it is the way of the world. People are dying all the time. Memories are fading, and we keep on moving on. My loss isn’t something new. People have been going through this, and sometimes tragically worse since we left the Garden of Eden. Generations come and go—we move through the ages. The only thing constant through it all is God Himself (Herself):

Revelation 1:8, KJV: “I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.”

I sometimes consider the loss God has seen. The atrocities we have committed against each other, and yet the Love, the Light, and the Grace continues.

Dearest Heavenly Father (Mother), to those of us struggling with loss and sadness of any kind, please meet us where we are. Refresh the memories and the focus of where you would like us to be in the moment. There is so much loss in the world, Lord. Please help us to shine your Love, Light, and Grace to all. In Your Mighty and Holy Name…