Angels’ Wings Psalm 91:11-12

I have been listening to the book, INTO THE LIGHT, by Dr. John Lerma. He was a palliative care doctor who worked in hospice throughout the 1980s and early 90s, who wrote about the experiences of his dying patients. I’m not sure how much this is helping with my grief.

At first, much of it was wonderfully helpful as it talked about a loving God who cared for all of us—even the most broken—whose goal it was to heal us with love and grace so we can move on to the next phase in peace. There are lovely stories in it. Some, very dated*, but the overall theme makes two things clear:

1. There is a Spiritual world at work always.
2. There is something after this life.

As the text moved on, I began to realize that nearly every patient he wrote about had visions of angels or dead loved ones near their death. With as deep as my mother’s faith was, she did not mention seeing anything like this. She wanted one of us there instead, and I sensed it was because she felt alone. Hearing that others had an experience, my mother did not then began to make me angry.

In the end, I faced with the same dilemma I had before I started the book, “What is out there after we pass on?” Sure, Dr. Lerma wrote this book of these experiences, but are they “really” true? As important, if they are, maybe there is some other scientific explanation for them. And perhaps, just as each of us uniquely enters the world, our leaving is as equally unique.

My mother loved the Word. It turns out Psalm 91 was one of her favorites. Before listening to this book, I selected this verse for her tribute:

For he will command his angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you in their hands Psalm 91:11–12a

It is hard losing someone you love and not being able to talk to them anymore. Once again, faith must step in and fill the gaps. There is no other choice that we have.

My birthday is approaching. It will be my first without my mother. If you would, say a prayer for our family and me. The loss is still so fresh.

Dearest Heavenly Father (Mother), you are an all Loving God. Everything you are, everything you project, is a Loving force designed to create unity amongst all of us, bringing us closer to you. Please help us to rely on that truth, with real and lasting faith. In Your Mighty and Holy Name…

*He calls some female patients, “princess,” and is too touchy in his care kissing patients on the head and such. Of course, he expresses this “kissing” almost universally with his female patients. His musings on homosexuality, although seemingly tolerant, reflect the era. His writing has various levels of gender and racial bias.